STICKNO BILL’S ON THE WEBSITE

I’ve been asked to contribute some writing to this fine website. It’s the last time anyone’s going to ask me to do such a thing.

I can’t do this straight. I’m sorry. You’re not going to be getting any yummy recipes out of me -- or even recipes of things that are yummy. I make cookies that are to die from.

The views expressed herein are my own and do not represent the Whangarei Vegan Society (a.k.a. “Whangarei Vegans”), any other of its members, nor any persons whom any of its members have spotted by looking out a bus window.

Having said all that, I will endeavour to provide something of use to you, calling on my 48 years of veganism and 11 years of Whangarei residence. For instance, I can now confidently inform you that you can wear obviously pro-vegan message garb (“apparel” for those of you who don’t like 4-letter words) and still be accepted for jury duty. I know. It shocked me, too. Y’all must be purty desperate for jurors up heah. The case obviously had nothing to do with animal abuse or human physical health, so the band of 11 had to put up with the brief but pithy “diet-tribe” which I managed to express on Day 2
-- in context of course!

I can also very-nearly-confidently inform you that veganism has saved my life. I am beating life-threatening atherosclerosis -- thanks for the hideously hyperactive lipids factory I seem to have inherited, mum! -- which was so severe that I was recommended for that ever-popular Triple-Bypass Surgery but which failed to manifest itself in any heart attack, major or minor, due to my long-term veganism (and that’s the consensus of all the doctors who’ve seen me, vegan and carnist alike). I’ve been given the time to clean up my sugar habit and eat lots and lots of kale and, at this writing, I am feeling much, much better on only a small fraction of the medicine I was on 2 years ago -- with virtually no discomfort. A major reason for my rejecting surgery and running instead to my doctor friends is that I was told that I would have to take statins with the surgery. In this country, I am led to believe that all of the domestic statins contain cow’s milk, and I wasn’t having any of it. And I made darn-tootin’ sure that the medicines I am on, to get me through this safely, contain no animal products. I don’t know why I’m here on Earth, but I do know it is not to cause the suffering of innocent animals.

Hey, remember the rodeo Code of Welfare re-write that the judge ordered a couple of years ago when S.A.F.E. and the N.Z. Animal Law Association lost their lawsuit against the Government? Shane Reti’s office recently told me that the National Animal Welfare Advisory Committee is still working on it and it won’t even be forwarded until they approve what they’ve done in November, so it may not even reach the Associate Minister for Agriculture by the start of rodeo season. Why don’t you apply some pressure, as I have done? I really don’t think that folks should go out to Maungatapere every January, year after year, and watch things done to animals which are in violation of the spirit and
intent of the Animal Welfare Act. Thank you.

Well, enough about me. How are you?

Catch you next time -- unless somebody with more sense and taste stops me.

Billy Leonard is the author of Diamonds & Rats and Streccano, which are available at The Piggery in Walton Street and Book Inn in the Kamo shops and also in our public libraries. He also wrote Stickno Bill’s Guide to Complete Fulfillment, which is not. He is Treasurer and Membership Co-ordinator for Whangarei Vegans and reminds you that annual membership is only $5!

NONE OF THE MEDICAL MATERIAL EXPRESSED ABOVE IS INTENDED TO REPLACE PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM. -- THE AUTHOR